We Put The Icky in Picky Eater

When it comes to being a picky eater I thought there was no possible way anyone could ever top my habits.  Food touches..... Welp that section isn't getting near my mouth.  Spaghetti with sauce..... No thank you.  That's not a color I like...... Ok I'll give it a lick,  nope can't do it.  That smells funny.... Definitely not try that.  Well now I have a picky one of my own and she puts me to shame. 

For as long as I wanted children I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  I hoped with everything in me that my little would latch and there wouldn't be any medical reasons not to.  I gave birth at a hospital who heavily promotes nursing so as soon as little miss Harli Belle made her debut they threw her on my chest and there she stayed until she began to root.  She latches right away and nursed for 45 minutes straight.   I couldn't have been more proud and excited. 

I went back to work when Harli was 4 months old.  The day I went back to work was the day she decided that she would not take a bottle.   1000 nipples and systems later,  freshly pumped or heated breast milk was not going near her if it wasn't coming directly from mom.   This is about the time people started telling me that she will eat when she's hungry.   So I tested this theory,  I lasted 8 hours before I felt like the world's worst mom and nursed her for 2 hours straight. 

At 5 months we started infant oatmeal and rice cereal.  She did great with both.  I was able to go to work and not worry that she was going 4 hours between feedings.  We transitioned to stage 1 and 2 baby food rather easily.  She had 3 servings a day while nursing between. 

At about 10 months old we tried stage 3 food.  The kind with chunks in them.  This is when all hell broke loose.  She could not stand the texture and threw up after gagging herself on the first bite.  She stopped eating oatmeal,  but would still eat the rice cereal and stage 1&2 foods. 

Harli self weened at 13 months old.  I wasn't emotionally ready to handle this,  but I was excited that she was ready to start being a big girl.  I bought all the baby snacks and toddler foods I could find.  She did great with the snacks,  but wouldn't even taste the foods.  I continued to feed her the puree food so I knew she was getting all of the servings she needed. 

Vitamin D milk became the new comfort after she stopped nursing.  By the time she turned 1 and a half I had began giving her a plate of what we were eating at every meal.  I never forced her to eat,  but she didn't get her puree until we were finished.  She never ate more than a bite or 2. I began researching how to get her to eat and tried a million things.  Nothing really worked.  I tried letting her feed me or a doll as experts suggest,  I ended up with filthy floors.  I tried letting her feed herself and ended up giving 3 baths a day to a hungry baby. This is also about the time she developed pica. 

Pica is where you eat or crave non edible substances.  It goes beyond a typical toddler putting things in her mouth.  I had a baby who CRAVED cat litter.  I spent 3 months playing referee just trying to keep her out of the littler box.  She would try anything I put inside of her mesh food feeder.  Steak,  chicken,  potatoes you name it she loved it.  The second I took it out of the food feeder she would melt down and refuse to try. Do you know how maddening it is to have a child prefer eating grass over pie?

Summer rolled around and we planted a garden. When the snap peas and tomatoes came in Harli Belle discovered that fresh fruits and vegetables were delicious.  She would snack on any fruit or vegetables I brought home as long as it wasn't cooked. She would devour a tomato in under 3 minutes. Finally we are getting somewhere right?!  Wrong!  I still couldn't get her to eat anything with protein in it unless it was puree. 

We are now 2 1/2 still being fed puree pouches as primary meals.  And by fed I mean I dip the spoon into the bowl and feed her.   She does not feed herself.  We get about 3 bites in before she tries finger painting the ceiling with her spoon.  I've read that children with failure to thrive have been told to let baby eat anything they want,  even if it junk food.   So I thought ok let's try cake and cookies,  because who doesn't like that?  Harli Belle,  Harli Belle is who doesn't like cake and cookies. 

When turning down a long drive because it interferes with harlis schedule,  I've been told to just stop at McDonald's and get her a happy meal,  it won't hurt once in a while.   Well no kidding it won't hurt,  but try telling Harli that.  She won't eat more than half a chicken nugget. I've heard C'mon mom just let her have the pudding,  ok here Harli have some pudding..... She runs away. 

This is one of my biggest worries about her starting preschool.  She doesn't eat.  I don't want to stop giving her the puree food because she will starve herself.  Habits don't break easy,  with autism you're in a whole new league of stubborn.  If we stop the puree food now,  then I fear she won't go back after a couple days of trying to break the habit.  Meal times are never easy in our house,  it's a constant struggle,  but it can't last forever right?

Bragging Over Gabbing

I started asking for speech therapy when Little Miss Harli Belle was 18 months old.  I was concerned that she had maybe 5 words she would randomly use. There was no consistency with words, not were used properly.  Mama could mean bath, milk, hot, cold and the list goes on. I did not hear my baby girl call me mama on purpose until she was almost 2 years old. At our 18 month wellness visit my pediatrician heard my concerns but advised on the wait and see method. I thought to myself "ok this is probably one of those freaking out mom moments that I rarely have"

At our 2 year wellness check up it was quite obvious we were delayed in speech,  social development and food intake.  After a longer discussion we decided that an autism evaluation was needed at this point.   Due to speech being part 1 of the 3 areas tested for we again delayed a local recommendation. 

While waiting to begin speech therapy I talked to a few friends and family members who happen to be teachers,  a couple actually have a special education degree.   I fell down the rabbit hole on Pinterest and started a talking board at home.  We used pictures of things Harli uses everyday,  and a few of her favorite things.   We pulled a card everytime she did the action. 

It's been about 6 weeks since we started speech therapy.  Like all new things with toddlers I knew the first visit or two would be less productive and more about learning what techniques would work best for Harli Belle.  Miss Rachel loved our talking board idea and took it a step further.  Harli now places the card in our hand and hears the word.   This teaches her how to ask for something,  as well as hearing the word.

This was not an easy transition.  In the past I was so excited that the words were coming or the cards were working that she got her way.  I love that we are now teaching her to ask rather than take what she wants. Right now she's little and cute so strangers don't mind that she runs up and steals a ball.   While this is polite and an excellent example of sharing,  we have to try and turn outings into lessons which is not always productive due to over simulation. 

Over the last week and a half I have been blown away at the progress in Harli Belles speech.  6 weeks ago she could not retain more than 10 words at a time.  As she learned one she forgot one. She did not group words together at all.  Today Harli Belle has about 30 words that she uses consistently. She can grab her diaper bag,  my keys and say "go bye bye". She's repeating sounds and tones that she hears from us or tv.  She can identify and point to images or colors in her books.  She will make the sounds of an animal that she sees on tv or in books.   This is progress I certainly didn't expect to see so soon.  

She earned a gold Star ⭐ A+ today at our speech visit. Miss Rachel expressed this is the transformation we want to see.  Our transition times are shorter, our attention span in longer and our routine has been established. I'm so very proud of her efforts and results! And most importantly she's rightfully proud of herself! 

Let's Talk Vacationing

A long running joke in America is that women can't pack light.  I always took pride in being the exception to that rule.   I could pack 1 back back for a 5 day trip.  Fast forward 10 years to when Harli Belle was a baby.   Car was loaded and packed full for the days away.  I took a crib,  high chair,  food,  breast feeding supplies and snacks.  All of it was necessary and expected.   I was so ready to get back to a time when I could pack light.   I avoided over night trips and vacations at all costs. 

I knew I couldn't keep doing this and we promised the older kids we would try and take a trip this summer.   So, after planning and research we decided kalahari would be ideal.   All you really needed was swim suits right?!   Wrong.  Harli Belle has always had insomnia.  We worked really hard and developed a bed time routine that works. One consistent factor is leaving her alone to fall asleep.  So my biggest worry about 3 days at a water park was not sun burns or drowning,  it was sleep deprivation.  I packed an entire duffle bag just for night time routine.  

5 people for 3 days away and we had 9 bags!  I couldn't see out of my rear window but I was ready to get away from daily stresses. 

 We get there the first day and check in went rather  smoothly.  We get all 3 kids upstairs and organized.  (Because I'm one of those people who use hotel drawers).  I need accessibility with Harli Belle.  We get everyone changed and head down to the pool.  Kids are ready to play but I still have to move the car out of temporary parking.   I send them on there way and head off to get a locker and move the car while dad takes the kids to play.   I get back and finally get to enjoy some play time before dinner.   I knew the first night would go fine for Harli Belle and sleep because she was exhausted.  She passed out on me like she used to as a tiny babe. It brought a sense of peace to me,  because every night since she's been in her own room I have had to fight the urge to let her cuddle me until she fell asleep. 

Day 2 rolls around and Hunter wakes up early with us.  We head down and play until close to lunch time when dad and sis joined us.   We take the kids out to eat and to my surprise no meltdowns during dinner.  Harli Belle even ate a bunch of her brothers fettuccine Alfredo.  

Since she refused a nap on day 2 I thought bed time would go ok again.  

You see this is where it all went wrong!  The thing is hotels don't have Netflix or any streaming capability what so ever..... So we did not have our wind down shows.  We had Willy Wonka. This DID NOT go over well at all. She didn't go down easy, not at all.  We spent an hour playing hot lava with couch cushions until she literally ends up crashing around 930. The rest of the family came up around 10 and we all fell asleep pretty quickly.

 In  my deepest sleep...... I feel a tiny Harli hand on my cheek with a voice saying "awww" "Awww".  I'm thinking to myself aww baby cuddles, but man am I tired, So I peep an eye open and see its 3 am.  Oh no child it is not time to get up!  So I say " Ok baby let's go back to your bed".  I change her diaper,  refill her milk and lay down with her.  She polished off her milk and it was on like donkey Kong!  She spent the next 6 hours running around the hotel room telling me to shhhh.

We finished day 3 with a few meltdowns over lines for the slides and lack of sleep,  but the smile on my face is not going away.   I'm so proud of her for trying all of the big scary slides.  She learned how to keep herself above water and no longer requires me to hold her up.   She had one slight hesitation on a tube slide,  tried it anyways and went right back up the stairs to try again. 

I may not be in the pack light stage yet,  but now I know travel is possible again.   We just need a bedroom for Harli Belle.  We can go to Georgia for thanksgiving this year and stay with family to avoid insomnia meltdowns.  I escaped my every day stress and got a few days of fun in.  The best part was seeing how happy the kids were.